you have no right

i dont know who else blogs, i mean, besides john mayer. is it bad to take part in a revered form of communication having no idea the actual realm? well, i guess thats the point of going for it: my phalange exercises.
i remember when i was a kid, spending this one fantastic summer in ohio. "fantastic ohio...?"--an oxymoron, you might be thinking, but i was a kid. upon graduating from university, my cousin vikki had set out for the south to stake claim in whatever fort worth texas had to offer. not much for an unseasoned raw grad is what she learned--plus there was always fantastic ohio to go back to. so we packed up the honda and began the some 1000 mile journey back north.
vikki is my double cousin. well thats what my mom calls it anyway. and no, its not illegal. its the equivalent and answer to the question "do you have a sister for me?!" as my dad's sister met and married my mothers' brother. thats how my parents met. so vikki is my double cousin. two times, high five.
i remember vikki was in a hurry to get back. im trying to remember specifics about the trip itself, but all i can see is vikki in the drivers seat, clutching the wheel in a forward lurch--every ounce of her excited and anticipating fantastic ohio. i was just a warm body riding shot gun to ward off crazees. we must of stumbled across an impersonators road trip bc we rode up on the convertible, the thelma, the louise along the way. i remember laughing soo hard, trying to take a picture but all that came out was a red hairy blur. and actually, its all pretty much a blur--it wasnt my first road trip or time away from home. i remember going shopping, trying to extend my dollars at the bargain barrel. i guess i used to always wear socks and shoes bc i remember pulling off my shoes at vikki's command and scaring her with my pale feet. "we gotta get you some tevas... and sun", so our first stop was the bargain barrel for the shoes. there was a community pool down the street, so off we went to celebrate the sun. we actually didnt make it. as we were driving up to the pool, there was a massive woman going in who must of stole her swimsuit from a kid. her bikini. i remember seeing the same look vikki held for my feet for the woman as she stated "you have no right to show me all that." and off we drove.
my feet did get some sun that summer. we put some highlights in my hair too, and i went and got my ears re-pierced. i remember my parents were a little worried when i came home looking soo different. i was. i was different. and im trying to think what came first...had i only now matched my outside to what was inside? or had my inside changed reflecting what was soo prominently seen...? i'd like to say i had only then mirrored what was inside, but thats not true. while it looked like a pubescent series of firsts, i had changed more than my clothes. i just cant remember what...i guess thats why they say puberty is soo hard: you can see whats going on on the outside, but its hard to explain whats up on the inside. i think it was just time. pure memories of times i tucked inside--thats what people saw. silent, unseen time in me.

on one entry, john mayer asks "When was the last time you had a truly pure moment? The simple order of you, the enjoyment, the happiness, the end....Without that nagging arithmetic of what the moment must look like to others, what it might read like tomorrow, and if it bears any significance in the long term...Simple happiness is at a premium... and I can't think of anything more valuable I want to own right now..."

while shamu had no right to show us all that, i guess she did have a right to happiness. she didnt have a right to take away my sun time, but she didnt know she ultimately contributed to a pure moment. her pure moments are seen in a childs' two piece. fair enough.